Ten Ways the Maker of the Blue Ivy Petition Could Have Spend Her Time Better

Ten Ways the Maker of the Blue Ivy Petition Could Have Spend Her Time Better

The Internet has been making me so sad lately.


I recently read that a woman, so annoyed with the state of 2-year-old Blue Ivy’s hair actually took time out of her day to go to to put together a petition to get the baby’s hair combed. She eloquently states, “As a woman who understands the importance of hair care. It’s disturbing to watch a child suffering from the lack of hair moisture. The parents of Blue Ivy. Sean Carter a.k.a Jay Z and Beyoncé have failed at numerous attempts of doing Blue Ivy’s hair. This matter has escalated to the child developing matted dreads and lint balls. Please let’s get the word out to properly care for Blue Ivy hair.”




Aside from the fact that this woman is coming for a 2-year-old girl’s hair (again,wut??) I’m pretty annoyed that she used for this foolishness. I’m quite familiar with this website. Most of the time, however, my visits to it have been for changing the Stand Your Ground law, or for raising awareness about the lack of consequences for students who sexually assault their classmates, or to petition certain statutes that legalize discrimination against the LGBT community. Not for hair. Not for a 2-YEAR OLD’S HAIR. C’mon.


If only the author had put that passion and 7-10 minutes to better use. Here are some ideas for her if she ever finds herself with free time on her hands again:


  1. Start a petition about something worthwhile.

There is PLENTY to petition without you being simple.



  1. Look into adopting a puppy.

I just finished doing this for 5 minutes and I feel less petty already.



  1. See what’s new in summer fashion.

Turns your thoughts towards your own wardrobe and therefore YOUR OWN BUSINESS.



  1. Do a 10-minute HIIT workout.

This stands for High Intensity Interval Training. It’s a tougher, highly effective version of the cardio workout. Working out releases endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t insult toddlers. Done and done.



  1. Make a sandwich. A BIG sandwich.

One that requires two hands to hold. Both hands busy = no way to show the world how ignorant and insensitive you are by typing ignorant and insensitive crap on the world wide web.



  1. Intercede with Jesus.

Lord, please take this trivial ridiculousness off of my heart that I may traverse da innanets like an adult. Amen.



  1. See what’s good on GroupOn and find something new to do.

Add to your life so that you don’t overly concern yourself with the frivolous details of SOMEONE ELSE’S life.



  1. Make a date with a friend.

May he or she sternly slap some common sense into you when you guys meet up.



  1. Moisturize your hair.

If your strands thirst for water as much as you seem to thirst for drama I’m pretty sure it’s about time to moisturize it again anyway.


10. Self-evaluate.

Why do you have such a problem with a 2-year-old baby’s curly toddler hair? She is allowed to look cute and messy, just like any toddler with any texture of hair. Do you honestly think one of the most famous babies ever isn’t being taken care of, or is there a little bit of your own self-consciousness peeking through? Hmmm??


I hope that the author thinks again and more deeply about her issues with Blue Ivy’s hair. I hope that my readers and myself think about our own personal insecurities about our hair or anything else and think about how they may affect the way we see and interact with the world. I hope that we let kids be kids and realize that they have the blessing of being adorable whether they are styled or not and regardless of what texture their hair is.


And I really hope that we’re done with this toddler hair foolishness.



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